


Cassiopeia

by intotheblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Sam/Eileen, Coda, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Spoilers for Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, canon destiel, jack bless that tag, simultaneously a coda and a manifestation for 15x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27614474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intotheblue/pseuds/intotheblue
Summary: They'd won, but the cost to play had been too damn high. Dean hadn't asked Jack to bring Cas back because he didn't have to. He'd seen the flash of sadness in his eyes after bringing everyone else back; seen the near-imperceptible shake of his head when Dean took an aborted step after him as he backed away. Jack couldn’t do it.A coda/fix-it, post 15x19
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 104





	Cassiopeia

It's… over. They won. And Dean is happy, he really is. It was a near perfect ending. The sun is shining and the Earth's still turning, it's inhabitants entirely unaware of the days they'd lost. He wonders if some scientist won't figure it out, notice that the stars have moved too far for a single day. A puzzle for the decade. And Sam, Sam's practically vibrating with excitement as they draw closer to Eileen with every mile of asphalt beneath their tires.

So yeah, Dean's happy. But it's a hollow sort of happiness.

They'd won, but the cost to play had been too damn high. Dean hadn't asked Jack to bring Cas back because he didn't have to. He'd seen the flash of sadness in his eyes after bringing everyone else back; seen the near-imperceptible shake of his head when Dean took an aborted step after him as he backed away. Jack couldn’t do it.

The kid had been through enough, and Dean wasn't going to make him explain why restoring the entire world was in his power but bringing Cas back wasn't.

Instead, he'd pasted on as much of a smile as he could manage and teased Sam about seeing Eileen again so he wouldn't have to think about who they wouldn't be seeing.

* * *

Waking at all is a surprise. Cas had seen the Empty reaching out to him, had felt its icy tendrils envelop him. And he'd felt peace. Dean was safe, and he'd finally said what he'd wanted to all these years. Finally let himself feel love in its entirety. It had been glorious.

Now, he's mostly confused. The Empty is different from what Cas remembers. There's a high pitched whine that seems to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once. In the back of Cas's head, he feels presences other than his own, tugging his consciousness in several directions. With nothing else to do, he picks one at random and begins to walk.

* * *

It's well after midnight, and they're still on the road. Sam is asleep on the passenger side, but Dean isn't tired. The last song on the cassette in the tape deck had ended an hour ago, and Dean hadn't bothered to put in a new one. They're miles from any sort of civilization, and Dean has to remind himself more than once that the lack of cars around them doesn't mean everyone is gone again. Still, between that and the muted landscape surrounding them, there's little to do but think.

Before, just after Chuck had wiped the Earth clean of everyone but them, Dean had had to push it all down. Sam was spiraling, and Dean couldn't afford to sink into the stupor he usually found himself in after losing Cas.

And wasn't that a thought? He's lost Cas so many damn times, he has a 'usual' response. This time feels different, though. He feels different. Dean still aches, feels the loss like a gaping hole in his chest. He greets his grief as an old friend, wraps himself in it like a warm blanket. He knows how to survive this loss, though, because he's done it before. And for once, he wants to. Because he wants to live up to what Cas saw in him.

* * *

"Michael," Cas says, surprised. His voice sounds strange to his ears, echoless and muted by the void around them.

Perhaps the direction he'd chosen hadn't been quite as random as he'd thought.

"Castiel," Michael replies, "I – I'm sorry," he says. Had Cas not known any better, he would've thought it was Adam speaking, not Michael. The words are pained and soft, brimming with the sort of regret and sorrow that angels are rarely capable of.

"What happened?" Cas asks.

Michael shakes his head mutely and turns away. Cas blinks and he's gone. The high pitched whine remains. Cas continues on.

* * *

Dean shakes Sam awake around four in the morning, just as he pulls into a roadside motel. It's the sort they've slept in a thousand times before, stained carpet and questionable mass produced art and all. It feels almost like a homecoming.

"Time is it?" Sam asks, yawning.

"Late," Dean replies. "C'mon, I need a couple hours of shut eye before we keep going."

Sam rubs his eyes and stretches. "How far out are we?" He asks as he climbs out of the car.

Dean shrugs. "Three or four hours?" he guesses.

"That close?" Sam asks.

"C'mon." Dean gestures towards the front of the motel. "A little sleep and we'll be there by lunchtime."

* * *

Next, Cas finds Ruby. Or rather, she finds him.

'Well, whatever the hell you did it woke us all up," she says from behind him. Cas spins around to face her.

He doesn't know what to say.

"I guess I should thank you," Ruby continues. "I mean, I could do without the eternal shriek, but it's better than everything that was going on up here." She taps her forehead meaningfully.

"I don't know why we’re awake," Cas says finally.

"Ah," Ruby says. "Then I guess you still owe me." She winks, and then she too is gone. The whine continues. Although, now that he thinks about it, perhaps _shriek_ is a more accurate description.

* * *

Dean is exhausted, but even with his eyes shut tight against the soft moonlight that filtered through the motel room's thin curtains he can't sleep. He misses the odd sounds the bunker made at night. He misses his memory foam mattress. He misses his damn nightgown and he misses- well. Best not to go there while he's trying to sleep.

After several more minutes of unsuccessful slumber, Dean sighs and swings himself out of bed. He toes on his boots as quietly as he can manage and slips out into the night. He walks around behind the motel and sits on concrete slab, back against the wall and arms resting on his knees. The night is cold and clear, the stars as bright as he's ever seen them.

For a while he just stares, tracing out the constellations he knows and making new ones in place of the ones he doesn't. Above the big dipper is a group of stars he decides to call Jack. The brightest of them make a sort of circle. Harmony, Dean thinks. Beyond that are several stars in the shape of a child's drawing of of a house. He calls that one Sam. And above it… well, Dean knows that one. Cassiopeia. He doesn't know where it got it's name, but he knows what it means to him. _Cas_.

* * *

His next encounter is less welcome than the first two were.

"Cassie!" Lucifer calls out gleefully. "What a lovely family reunion."

"I have nothing to say to you," Cas rumbles.

"Oh," Lucifer says, "but you'll want to hear what I have to say." He grins, but none of the mirth reaches his eyes.

"Your precious little humans are going to lose," he sing-songs. "I've made sure of it."

"You've been here longer than I have," Cas retorts.

"Dad sprung me," Lucifer replies, "and I-"

Cas pushes past him. "I have no interest in your games," he says. To his surprise, Lucifer says nothing in response.

When he turns around, the Archangel is gone.

* * *

Dean tilts his head back against the wall, and for the first time since purgatory, he prays.

"Cas," he says softly. "I don't know if you can hear me. Hell, you probably can't. I know this one was probably it. The big goodbye." Tears begin to form in Dean's eyes, and he does nothing to stop them from falling. "I wanted to say thank you," he whispers. "What you did… we saved the world because of it. Because of you. There're seven billion people out there who owe you their lives. Some of us owe it a few times over." Dean chuckles a little at that, a wet, painful sound. "I need you to know that you changed me too. Of course you did, how could you not? Whatever it is you saw in me… it's there because of you. I never thought… well, I guess we're both stupid. You said the one thing you wanted you couldn't have. Cas," Dean says, his voice breaking, "I wanted it, too." His prayer devolves into choking sobs, the kind that tear themselves from you and won't let you draw breath to replace them.

* * *

Cas feels a sharp, painful tug in his grace.

_Cas_ , he hears in his mind. He knows that voice. Cas falls to his knees.

* * *

It isn't until the suns rays stain the horizon gold that Dean stands again. He dusts himself off and wipes at the dried tear tracks on his face. He aches, but he also feels some relief. He hadn't said it all but… he'd said enough. The rest he can keep for himself, at least for now. He slips back into the motel room where, predictably, Sam is still asleep. He steps out of his shoes and slides beneath the scratchy motel sheets. Finally, _finally_ , he sleeps.

* * *

"Dean," Cas chokes out. The prayer bounces around his head like a trapped echo. _I wanted it, too_. Cas feels the wetness on his face even as his determination surges. He's awake, and he's going to find a way home. He has to.

Cas continues walking with renewed purpose, although just as directionless as before. He wanders for what felt like hours or perhaps mere minutes. There's no concept of time in the Empty; only what was and what is. Eventually, he notices that the shriek is getting louder. It suddenly seems to be coming from a specific direction. Cas turns toward it and begins to run.

* * *

The little sleep Dean gets leaves him feeling surprisingly refreshed, and they make good time the rest of the way to Eileen. Ten minutes out, and Sam is all smiles, sending her update texts for every street they pass. His happiness is contagious, and Dean finds himself smiling too. He might not have gotten everything he wanted, but dammit Sam deserves this. So does Eileen. They've both been through so much. They're good for each other.

She's waiting on the sidewalk as they pull up to the curb, and Sam's out of the car before they even stop. He runs straight to Eileen, wraps his arms around her and swings her in a circle. She lets out a high pitched squeal and, when Sam puts her down, drags him into a long kiss.

"It's over," she says softly.

"It’s over," Sam agrees.

Eileen wraps her arms back around Sam and presses her face into his shoulder.

Dean looks away. He's happy for them, he is, but it's hard to watch, knowing that he'll never – well. All that matters is that they have each other. Dean is grateful for that.

* * *

The Empty is _screaming_. The closer Cas gets, the more it hurts to listen to. The unending screech rattles his teeth and threatens to tear his eardrums. He keeps walking.

As he draws close, it seems to sense his presence. "You!" it shrieks, turning it's face towards him. It still wears Meg's face, but it bares an expression he's never seen on her before. "You did this!" It lunges at him, but even as he flinches back it falls short, back on it's hands and knees.

"Make it STOP," the Empty pleads. "It's so loud."

It sounds so desperate that Cas almost feels sorry for it.

"Maybe I can help you," he says, though he has no idea how.

"Please," it begs, driven far past the point of reason.

"But if I do," Cas says, "you have to help me too."

"ANYTHING," it screeches.

"Send me home."

The Empty stares up at him. Its lips curl into a snarl. "I. Can't," it says.

"Why?" Cas demands. "You've done it before."

"We made a deal," it replies. "Deals cannot be broken."

"Then I can't help you." Cas turns and begins to walk away. The determination he felt before begins to drain quickly away.

"Wait!" it screeches.

Cas turns. "I can't help you from here," he says.

"If you get back… what will you do?"

"Jack did this to you, right?" Cas verifies. The Empty screeches in anger. It's all the confirmation Cas needs. "Then I'll get him to undo it. It's the only way to put them back to sleep. For you to go back to sleep."

The Empty stares at him for a moment in silence. It nods. "It's a deal," it says. It lunges at him, and this time Cas is too slow to avoid it. It wraps itself around him and tears him open. It's like dying all over again, but a thousand times more painful. It's as if his very essence is being torn from him. As if – oh. That's exactly what it is. It's unmaking him. The Empty is for angels and demons and other celestial beings, and if he isn't one… before he has time to finish the thought, he's gone.

The Empty curls in on itself to wait. It screams.

* * *

Dean makes some bullshit excuse about finding parking and drives off, leaving Sam and Eileen to catch up. It serves the dual purpose of giving them some alone time and him some space. He drives without thinking, makes random turns onto streets he doesn't know until he finds himself at the edge of town. He parks the car and gets out.

He begins to wander on foot, walking along a dirt road that runs between two corn fields. It almost certainly leads nowhere, but he feels an irrational need to follow it, as if there's something important at the end.

And then he sees it. He swears.

He'd known they were somewhere in Illinois, but he hadn't realized they were here.

The barn is more rundown than the last time he saw it, but Dean knows it's the same one. He can feel it in his bones. He wants to let go, to fall to his knees and sob, but something in him pushes him forward. He walks until he reaches its ramshackle doors. He places his hand lightly on one.

This is stupid, he knows. There's nothing for him beyond those doors except heartbreak and longing. Still though, there's something fitting about saying goodbye where it all began. He takes in a deep breath and pushes the door open. Its hinges squeal, but he pays them no mind because the barn isn't empty.

In it's center lays a dark haired man, naked and shivering. Cas. _Cas._

Dean sprints forward. He doesn't care if this is a trick, doesn't care if he's gone mad. It's Cas.

* * *

Everything hurts. Cas is cold, and disoriented and lost and the only emotion he can process is relief. Because these aren't the sort of things that an angel feels. They're what humans feel. And humans don't belong in the Empty. He hears a noise behind him, hears a sharp intake of breath, and he knows.

He's home.

* * *

Dean falls to his knees as Cas sits up and turns to face him. "Cas," he breathes. All of his energy seems to leave him at once. He reaches out with a shaking hand and stops just shy of touching Cas's cheek.

"Hello, Dean," Cas replies warmly. He presses his face into the proffered hand.

Dean chokes out a sob, and then he's pulling Cas toward him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pressing his face into his hair. Cas returns the gesture, snaking his hands around Dean's waist. Dean feels dampness against his shoulder and knows that Cas is crying too.

"How?" Dean asks, not loosening his grip at all.

"I made a deal," Cas replies simply.

Dean feels himself tense. "Not that kind of deal," Cas reassures him. "I'll tell you more, but… not right now."

Dean pulls back a little, just far enough to look Cas in the eye. "Cas," he says, "I gotta tell you something."

Cas shakes his head softly. "I heard your prayer," Cas says. "I know."

"I didn't say it all," Dean replies.

"What's left?" Cas tilts his head in that oh-so-familiar way that Dean thought he'd never see again. He lets out another small sob.

"I love you, too," Dean says. "I'm sorry I didn't say it before, I should've said it before. But I love you, I've loved you, I will always love you. You changed me too, Cas."

"You…" Cas says, wonder in his expression.

"You can have it, Cas, of course you can have it. I'm yours."

Cas surges forward, and for the first time he _takes_ , pressing his lips against Dean's. Dean is quick to respond though, giving as good as he gets. They spend who knows how long wrapped up in each other, until finally the need for air forces them to break the kiss. At some point, Dean's hands had wound their way into Cas's hair and he leaves them there as they breathe together.

"Dean," Cas says, and there something desperate in his voice.

"I'm with you," Dean replies.

"There's something you should know," Cas continues. "There was a cost to leaving the Empty," he says.

Cold fear washes over Dean. "What?" he asks softly.

"My grace," Cas answers. "I'm human."

Dean stares at him, open mouthed. "You're..." he starts, but doesn't know how to finish.

Cas nods. "I understand if that changes things," he says softly.

"Of course not Cas, god, of course not. I love you," Dean says. "All of you, in any form, whatever the consequences." Dean pauses for a moment, out of breath. "Are you okay, though?" he asks softly.

Cas breaks out into a wide grin. "Yes, Dean Winchester. Yes, I am."

And Dean's smiling too, so hard it hurts. "C'mon," he says, "You must be freezing." He pulls off his jacket and wraps it around Cas's shoulders. "Let's go home," he says.

"Home," Cas repeats, smiling.

And so, they do.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, it's hard to believe this is the first Supernatural fic I've posted here. I've been watching the show and interacting with the community on tumblr for almost 10 years now, and I couldn't let it go without a tribute of my own. Here's to all of you, you've been an amazing community for so many years (and hopefully for years to come). I hope you enjoyed my little contribution to this wonderful space :) (and if you want to come hang out and maybe see a few mini fics too small to post here, find me on tumblr at endgamecasdean.tumblr.com)


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